manners and more(s) - Why they still matter: December 2011

Are Spanish People Rude?
Iit’s a bit more complicated than it first seems to be, especially for English or American people.
The informal Spanish queuing system which, to the untrained foreigners eyes, does indeed appear to be a shambles at best:
The last person in asks ‘Quién es el último?’, or ‘Quién da la vez?’ in order to establish who is last in turn. They then simply have to remember who that person is and step up to the counter when their marker is done with their shopping.
Saying that Spanish people are rude is of course, as much of a generalization as saying that all Spanish people like flamenco. There are rude people and polite people everywhere in Spain, just as there are in England, the US and Zimbabwe. However, Spanish ‘loudness‘ or ‘rudeness‘ is one of the most frequently remarked upon aspects of the Spanish character by foreigners. At first I thought it was just foreign people but soon discovered that the impression was fairly widespread amongst visitors to Spain from many other countries. Here’s the thing…Spanish People are Not Rude, Just Polite in a Spanish Way
Physical Proximity and verbal addressing
Spanish people want to defy the laws of physics when getting on a train at 8 a.m. and I would add the legions of 70 year-old Spanish grannies in supermarkets trying to push in to the Retiro café toilet. Some Spanish grannies are incredible. Everybody else can be standing there queuing to pay at the checkout and the granny elbows her way to the front –as if no-one else were in the queue -and then refuses to look at, acknowledge or respond to anyone who tries to tell her differently.
However, physical proximity and the signals it sends to other people is radically different in Spain and other Mediterranean countries than in England or USA. Spanish people are more tactile as a rule and get closer when they speak to you, whether or not you are particularly acquainted to them. It can also cause more serious communications problems when doing business – Anglo-saxon businessmen are used to a more formal and distanced treatment when doing business whereas your average Spanish businessman will stand about 30cm from your nose, gesticulate and pat you on the shoulder every couple of minutes. This makes English businesspeople think that Spaniards are rude and uncouth and Spaniards think that foreigners are snobbish and distant. Neither of these statements is particularly true: they are just two different cultures and ways of doing the same thing. Verbally, Spanish people can also seem to be a bit rude to foreign people. A clarifying example might put this into context. An English person has to learn to be louder and more direct. In Spanish this is normally done in bars with the imperative: “Give me two beers!” No strange looks, quicker service and everybody’s happy. This is not always the case everywhere or in restaurants but serves to illustrate the point. So, in conclusion, of course Spanish people are not rude but what is considered rude or polite in Spain is not the same as in Anglo-Saxon cultures.